Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (dir. Michel Gondry)
During my sophomore year of high school, I watched the 2004 sci-fi romance film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, in which the main characters Joel and Clementine want to get rid of their memories of their past relationship so they forget all the pain that came from it. Ultimately, the film comes to the conclusion that you should treasure the joy that past relationships brought you and what you learned from them instead of wishing they never happened because of the pain at the end. Although this film is specifically about romantic relationships, its philosophy can easily be applied to relationships of any kind. When I walk the halls of this high school, I often pass people I used to be friends with, ghosts of past friendships. People I used to have a connection with and then somehow, the relationship dissolved into silence as we pass each other in the hallway, like we never met. This silence was soul-crushingly painful for me for so long, and still is in some ways, I can’t pretend it’s not, but because of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind I understand that is better to remember the good that came from a relationship than to revel in the bad, and to be happy that the relationship took place at all, as it lead to so much laughter and joy and feelings of belonging. I won’t spoil it, but that final line has specifically never left my brain.
Lady Bird (dir. Greta Gerwig)
The summer before my junior year began, after adoring Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, I watched her 2017 coming-of-age movie Lady Bird, which follows a high school theatre kid, who, in her senior year, wants to live through the more traditional high school experience, causing her to leave theatre and the friends she made in that space behind. In the end, the protagonist decides that she prefers to live her true self more, instead of pretending to be someone else in order to become more popular. She decides her best friend of many years is enough and she doesn’t need some big group of popular friends. I am someone who has never been popular in school. I’ve never had a ton of friends. I’ve always kind of yearned for more. A life that that was more similar to the “traditional” high school experience. This movie made me realize that maybe what I have already is enough. That the little literary magazine (AEONs) that I love being a part of is enough. The small amount of friends that I’m close with are enough. My family is enough. I’m enough.
Poor Things (dir. Yorgos Lanthimos)
On Christmas of 2023, my junior year, I saw the sci-fi comedy adventure film Poor Things in theaters, which is an experience I don’t think I’ll ever forget. This movie made me laugh, cry, and most importantly, this movie made me feel inspired. The film follows Bella Baxter, a woman with the brain of a baby and the body of an adult. As she has a baby’s brain, societal conventions and expectations don’t inhibit her. She lives her life how she wants to live it and acts how she wants to act. She doesn’t care what anybody thinks about her. I have struggled with having the confidence to show my true self to the world and not care what they think about it for years. Being my true self was something I already wanted to achieve, so this film didn’t teach me that. What it taught me was the connection that goal has with self-love. The feelings of being afraid to stand out and show the world who you truly are often damage your self-love. Those feelings make you wish you were more normal. You begin to hate the fear that is holding you back and dislike what makes you different at the same time. Her mind unscathed by societal norms, Bella is able to live her authentic true self that she loves. As she states in the film, she is a experimenting person who seeks outings and adventures, progress and growth. Why wouldn’t she love herself?
