At the beginning of the 2025-2026 school year, Norwin students will walk into their first period class and sit, not on desks, but on the cold, hard floor. Norwin’s maintenance crew intends to spend this summer removing desks from every classroom in the district as a part of Norwin’s new Focused Learning Integration Project (FLIP).

This decision to take away desks was inspired by a number of factors:

Productivity

A Buddhist practice of sitting on one’s knees is meant to connect the mind to the body and promote overall mindfulness. By removing desks from the district, the administration believes that students will be more mindful as this way of sitting will become more practiced in classrooms.

“I’ve actually tried it!” said Norwin’s own Niko Kelly. “It kind of hurts my knees, but it sort of helps me focus I guess.”

There was a study done at Indiana University of Pennsylvania where rats were given the same advanced calculus test. One group was placed on desk chairs, and the other on the ground.

“Squeak,” said the rat.

While not a single test subject completed the exam, or even finish a question for that matter, one rat from the ground group happened to have a little dirt on its foot that ended up marking the page.

“It was remarkable! When I first saw the mark I shrieked with joy” said the ghost of Albert Einstein.

The late and great Henry Ford once said “Progress is progress no matter how small.”

That doesn’t really have much to do with this, but he did say that.

Comfort

There have been many complaints from students concerning the comfort of the desks. To resolve this, the FLIP committee is determined to more comfortable seating in classrooms.

Head chairman of the FLIP committee, Mr. Walter Lumberjack is credited with the start of this project.

At the March school board meeting, the issue of desks was addressed.

Where will students sit if we get rid of these desks?

“I don’t know. The floor?” said Lumberjack.

There are rumors of the school board investing in soft mats to cover the floor of every building in the district, but it has been established that it would be decades from now if it happens at all.

“I love the cold feel of the floor,” said senior John Olshanski. “You know that feeling when you’re trying to sleep and you flip the pillow? It’s like that, but way less comfortable.”

Safety

“Get this! I was sitting in my desk minding my own business right? All of a sudden, the jagged metal bar to my right breaks off.  I got stuck in my desk. Crazy! Ain’t that the truth? Got my leg caught in the basket,” said Liam Murphy.

A real conversation between survivor Liam Murphy and assistant president of the United States Department of Seating Dr. Paul Ubiquitous, these tales of agony and trauma inspired changes to the seating arrangements in classrooms all across Norwin School District.

“That could happen to anybody!” said Ubiquitous. “We need to take the right precautions to ensure something like this never happens again.”

By removing them from classrooms, desks are less likely to dish out injuries to unsuspecting students.

“They will also no-longer get in the way in case of an emergency,” said junior Noah Carney. “Far too many times have I almost gone ablaze due to my escape path being blocked by desks.”

The 2025-2026 school year will definitely be a huge change for all students and faculty.

Administrators plan to hold a Farewell Bonfire at some point during the summer.