KNIGHT LIAR: Norwin teachers hit once in a lifetime jackpot

A “Knight LIAR” special edition


Ashley Cramer

Two of Norwin’s favorite teachers are set to put in their resignation due to a once in a lifetime jackpot. The Knipples are frequent spelunkers and last week they hit a massive gold deposit in a cave in their own backyard.

“I love my job but now I will be able to fully invest millions into crypto,” said Mrs. Knipple. “I can’t wait to be up there with Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos in net worth.”

The Knipple’s new found wealth measures up to about 200 billion dollars. Their plan to distribute this mass amount of wealth is to invest it into crypto as well as creating their own cryptocurrency named after the couple, KnipCoin. Along with the newly founded cryptocurrency, Mr. Knipple will be starring in his own show on the History Channel, The curse of the Knipples, rumored to debut late July of 2022.

“I have always loved shows about hunting for past treasures,” said Mr. Knipple. “I’m so excited to star in my own treasure hunting show on the History Channel. Mrs. Knipple will also be by my side as we search for ancient weathervanes.”

Alongside investing millions of dollars in the stock market and starting their own TV show the Knipples will also be starting their own weather network which will be called Cloudy with a chance of Weather.

“We are recruiting some of the best forecasters in Pittsburgh,” said Mr. Knipple. “I think some people will be shocked with who we are getting on board.”

Not long after the announcement of Cloudy with a chance of Weather, KWIN broadcaster Maddie Butina announced her resignation from KWIN.

“I am resigning from my position at KWIN and will not be joining the Cloudy with a chance of Weather forecasting team,” stated Maddie Butina’s press release. “I’m excited to be moving onto bigger and better opportunities.”

Rumors have begun to circulate that Butina received a generous offer to work as one of the broadcasters for Cloudy with a chance of Weather.

One of the final investments the Knipples plan to make is in luxury vests.

“I am a vest connoisseur,” stated Mr. Knipple. “I’m very excited to expand my vest collection. I hope to maybe even create a gold plated vest.”

This lucky couple is making the most of their newfound wealth through many business and personal endeavors. While students are sad to see them go, many are excited to see what the future has in store for the Knipples.

“It’s sad to see them go,” said senior Chase Rigo. “But now I’m planning on joining the crew of The Curse of the Knipples so not all is lost for me at least.”