KNIGHT LIAR: Barry is back. 3 years $45 million to the Pirates

Barry Bonds was seen hitting nukes at Irwin Park and was signed shortly there after by the Pirates.


Barry Bonds seen mashing at Irwin Park.

Anthony Olshanski, Vice President

Barry Bonds is back in the Burgh, after obtaining only 66 percent of the vote on his final year of eligibility into Cooperstown. After the recent signing of 36 year-old outfielder Andrew McCutchen, the Pirates are rebuilding the team from the old down by adding a new piece to create a strong foundation in the ‘Burgh.

Before this, the Buccos did not look like the team to buy in. The Pirates sit at 1-2 ahead of their series in Boston but Bonds looks to play immediately. Bonds’ role as the new DH is one that he was never given the chance, spending the entirety of his career in the National League, pre-universal DH.

Bonds is one of many veteran additions looking to build confidence on the young team. Additions such as Rich Hill, Carlos Santana, Connor Joe and more look to help build stability in Pittsburgh. The Bucs look to create a foundation, and set a standard that we haven’t seen since the Pirates last string  of postseason runs from 2013-15.

Fans are over the moon for the new signing, but one question lies, can he even play?

The last time Bonds played baseball was nearly 16 years ago, at the conclusion of the 2007 season. Bonds broke the home run record, but was later blackballed from the sport after admitting to PED use. Later that same year, Bonds was indicted by a federal court, one month before the Mitchell Report.

Fear not, however, as the Pirates and their fans have no concerns.

Norwin student John Olshanski (10) exclaimed, “He was mashing. I don’t even care that he loves to rub steroid cream all over himself; whatever makes him mash is fine by me.”

Bob Nutting and General Manager Ben Cherrington were amazed as his 645 ft moon shot, broke the gas pumps at the Sunoco gas station, causing a fire of applause and a disastrous fire.

Bonds might have missed the Hall of Fame ballot, but he wouldn’t miss a chance to impress his Pirates and sweep them of their feet in a magical rekindling of their romance. They say the second love is the strongest but Barry is choosing his first love once more, for a final time.

Bonds was incredible that fateful day in North Irwin and he looks to produce for the future in Pittsburgh.

This is when a local Pirates fan found out the breaking news.